I suspect Russell was sabotaged in the night with his real legs being replaced by tree stumps. Thinking about it now, there were other signs that something was amiss. His repeated swearing at Dr. Evil had grown quiet and he wasn't even making his guttural throat clearing sound.
Maybe it was aliens or body snatchers. That pain in his bum could well been from a rectal probe. My investigationRr continues. I shall bribe it with cheap wine and see how it responds.
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