The Grape Escape - 2011

Every year during the month of March, the Cape becomes the unofficial capital of cycling in South Africa. With events like The Cape Argus Cycle Tour, The Giro del Capo, The Argus Mountain Bike Challenge, The Tour de Boland and The Cape Epic you'd be excused for thinking that everyone's needs were catered for. Meurant Botha of Dirtopia fame didn't agree, and saw an opportunity for a mountain bike stage race through the winelands of the Western Cape, geared towards the average weekend warrior who wanted to give stage racing a go, but didn't want the commitment or have the budget to attempt some of the other stage races on offer. And so the Grape Escape was born.

Meurant Botha, with Dr Evil aspirations, promised an "achievable route that would incorporate the best features that the diverse terrain options present". This is code for "it's going to be tough, and you are going to hurt, but you'll have fun and will soon forget the pain once you get your medal at the finish". Any final delusions that this was going to be a sedate bike ride through the farmlands outside Cape Town where dashed when word got out that the likes of Kevin Evans, David George, Burry Stander, Christoph Sauser, and Karl Platt would be lining up with the rest of us weekend warriors. After several rounds of creative brainstorming and voting, I dictatorially chose the team name Blind Melons for our latest adventure. To confuse the pro's we had a B team wearing the same kit as us - some mates doing their first ever stage race, calling themselves Team Tired Raisins (we quickly renamed them to the Wrinkly Raisins). One year ago, one member of The Wrinklies was doing his first MTB race - the 25km Argus MTB race.

Stage One - Big Bay to Nelson's Creek

After a 2h30 car trip from Somerset West, several border crossings and time zone changes later we arrived at Big Bay with a handful of minutes to spare before the 9am start. The sun was already blazing away and rather uncharacteristically, there wasn't a breath of wind as we snuck into the back of our start chute. Team Wrinkly Raisins had been in the start chute for hours, and had hopefully out-psyched our competition. Our immediate goal was to beat John and Pieter - John being the weaker half of Team Heading for Divorce at Wines2Whales.

It was a long road trip to get to the start

The stage started off with a 8km neutral tar section which was great - that was 8km less that I would have to chase Craig for. The only risk being the riders around us - putting a whole lot of mountain bikers together in a big bunch is a recipe for disaster and it was no surprise when several riders went down before we had even left the tar. As soon as we hit the dirt the bunch stretched out and the racing started. Team Blind Melons were flying, passing riders left and right as we made fantastic progress from the back of the bunch, the matching 29ers loving the flat fast course. And then disaster struck 5 minutes after leaving the tar. Craig nicked something as we rode under a railway line, past a pair of red high-heels. As we were bemoaning our bad luck and fitting a tube, The Wrinklies came past us - they were going to have to fly the flag today - we had heard about another unofficial competition and were eager to compete, after already claiming the prize for the earliest puncture on the stage.

Is there a better backdrop to cycling than this?

With only bragging rights up for grabs, this unofficial competition centered around punctures. Three points for a side wall cut, two points for a puncture in a slime tube, and one point for a puncture in a standard tube. Convincing strangers to part with their tubes is worth an additional point. Bonus points would be given for creative approaches to fixing the above mentioned punctures. The rules were strict though - no intentional tyre sabotage would be accepted, just the general riding conditions on route. With less than an hour of riding done we were well placed with 11 points and no spare tubes left. The competition was fierce as riders lined the side of the route, pumping, bombing and patching away like crazy. In a stunning piece of creativity, Craig managed to bag us an additional 7 points as he somehow managed pop his tyre off the rim, in the process leaving an 8cm side wall cut and puncturing our last tube. After asking roughly 200 riders if they had a tube for us and receiving nothing but blank stares rider #1257 kindly donated his tube to our cause. With two gaiters, a bit of swearing and lots of pumping we finally got going again, now right down amongst the back markers.

The Professor, me, Craig, and the Race Snake, all representing 5339.co.uk

By the time we made the first water point they were about to pack up and leave, all the coke was finished and the water was luke warm from the 40C+ temperatures. We grabbed a spare tube and some duct tape from our dedicated (and somewhat disappointed) supporters and set off on our merry way, trying to make up some lost time. As we raced on to the next water point, our supporters raced to Chris Willemse Cycles to buy a new tyre, just in case. Meurant was right - this was a race for the whole family!

Duct tape ingenuity.

We'd barely left the water point when we scored another point, and I've put in an appeal for additional points for variety and creativity - unlike the previous punctures this one was a snake bite. As half the field once again passed us, snickering and chuckling, we fixed the puncture and headed off, again. After a long an uneventful 20 minutes we stopped again, this time to do some running repairs on the side wall tear which involved the liberal application of duct tape to keep everything together. As we got going again, thinking we were clear leaders in the puncture competition, we passed Christoph Sauser flapping and waving his arms about, gesticulating wildly, and directing some angry Swiss words towards a flat wheel. Suddenly the competition was on, and this was one race the skinny Swiss rider was not going to win!

Hot, tired and grumpy, but winners of the unofficial puncture competition.

The next 30kms of tar and gravel gave us little opportunity to puncture, but we did catch The Wrinklies who were starting to take after their team name as they started to feel the heat. At least some serious embarrassment had been avoided. With opportunities now few and far between, we made good use of a patch of thorns when riding through a vineyard to once again score 3 points. As luck would have it, we had chosen quite a good spot to stop, and I had some time to sample the different grape cultivars, much to Craig's annoyance as he fixed the puncture on his own. I would have thought that he would be an expert by now, but he still needed some guiding assistance which I reluctantly offered, tearing myself away from the tasty grapes. Thanks to rider #1133 for donating his tube to our cause and scoring us an additional point. Two minutes up the road we passed the devious skinny Swiss, still waving his arms about, fixing another puncture. He was good, and was not going to go down without a fight.

Glad Stage One is over!

From there on in the race was rather uneventful, and we actually had to pedal for more 20 minutes at a time and before we knew it, we crossed the finish line at Nelson's Creek, all chances of a top performance gone, but with the coveted unofficial puncture award safely in our hands.

Stage Two - Nelson's Creek to Boschendal

With the adventure of Stage One behind us we decided to get down to some serious bike racing, and once again managed to sneak into the back of the start chute with minutes to spare. Have I been hanging around Craig for too long that I now too faff and fiddle as much? In a haze of dust and sweat we set off eager to avenge the misfortunes of the previous day. The route promised to be a little more exciting than the previous day's and would once again favour the big wheeled 29ers.

The pre-race faff with minutes to spare to the start!

I set the pace for 40 minutes as we weaved and snaked our way through the field. Craig then took it upon himself to dish out 2 hours of pain and suffering as he drove us on towards the big climb of the day. We caught Hector (aka The Professor), another Hermanus local who is starting to look a lot like Laurent Fignon and let him tag along in our little posse. We also caught John and Pieter, and although they had over an hour on us from the previous stage, we were eager to get one back on them.

The Pro's

The route was fantastic - a little bit of everything, and probably the closest you will come to an Epic stage without actually doing an Epic. There were certain sections where Meurant could have competed with Dr Evil, but instead thought of the riders and chose the easier option. The riding was good, the route was well marked, the water points were well stocked (banana bread, peanut butter sandwiches, biltong, banans, ice cold grapes - I'm bringing a lunch box next time for take aways) and there were plenty of marshals along the way. The same could not be said about the locations of the spectator points which were pretty much kept a secret, except for a select few. We did eventually spot our support crew with about 10kms to go, shouting and cheering us on as we whizzed by.

David George waiting to pounce!

With the finish line at Boschendal almost in sight we started to slow, but the combination of white line fever and the urge to beat John got us to the finish line in good time. The demons of the previous day had been laid to rest.

The Dane Train

The Wrinkly Raisins had a long day out, but finished in one piece, although there were reports of an emergency visit to the pharmacy for bum chafe related products.

Stage Three - Boschendal

With maximum temperature for the previous two days reaching well into the 40s, the promise of cooler weather for the final stage of the Grape Escape seemed to be to everyone's liking. Once again we snuck into the back of the start chute with minutes to spare, and after a half hearted apology from Meurant for lying about the route distances, we were once again racing (I thought mountain bikers were supposed to be tough!).

Two Niners off to the race.

Today was Nelly's birthday and I'd really hoped that we'd be able to have a good ride, but as the race unfolded I was convinced my bike had been sabotaged - try as I might I just couldn't get her going and my legs felt like sacks of gooey cheese. Craig proceeded to extract revenge for the Grape Incident of Stage One and cranked up the pace as I desperately tried to hang on for dear life, hoping my legs would wake up and decide to actually participate in the race.

It's hard to smile after three hours of Craig Pain.

Christoph Sauser's bad luck from day one had rubbed off onto his Epic partner, Burry Stander, and he yo-yo'ed around us for the early parts of the stage. I felt under a bit of pressure as I took a corner with several guys all following my line, including Burry. Would he approve? Before I could ask him he was gone, effortlessly speeding away from us weekend warriors.

You'd swear he wasn't on the front.

As the stage wore on, a strange thing started to happen - we started to catch and pass riders. My legs weren't feeling any better, and I was still having to bite down on my handlebars just to keep up with Craig, but we were once again going forward. Perhaps the exertions of the previous days were catching up with those around us, or perhaps they had gone out too hard too early. Whatever it was, it gave me a glimmer of hope that something could be salvaged from Stage Three. And then the near impossible happened - we caught a glimpse of John and immediately my legs went from gooey cheese to stodgy pâté, and my jaw tightened on the handlebars - we had a target to chase down!

Still got lock jaw from biting the handlebars.

With 10kms to go we caught John and Pieter, and after some silly roadie talk of us all riding to the finish line together humming Kumbaya, we dropped them like a bad smell in a wind tunnel. By now my legs were starting to wake up a little and we went in search of  targets, quickly catching and passing several more riders on our way to the finish line. We managed to avoid some embarrassing finish line handlebar entanglement and safely crossed the line for our best placing all weekend, collecting another well earned medal.

The Professor, Craig, me and Little John.

The Wrinkly Raisins put in another good performance, enjoying the route and amenities on hand, finishing just in time for lunch to the cheers of their supporters. I hope to see them regularly at events in the future, and a collection is being put together to fund some new shorts for one half of the team...

The Wrinklies - all smiles and ready for the next challenge.

Attakwas 2011

My memories of the Attakwas 2010 event were a little blurred by the Epic-ending crash of my prospective Cape Epic partner, and I wasn't sure I wanted to venture all the way out to Oudtshoorn to take part in South Africa's toughest mountain bike marathon event. With the Bicycling Omni-Motion 24hr still lurking in my legs (and head), I was also quite skeptical of my form, and really wasn't in the mood for another suffer-fest.

In a moment of madness (or weakness) I entered the Attakwas 2011 - I think the promise of a free event T-shirt was all it took to change my mind, and possibly a long weekend away in Herold. With the entry fee paid, I set about trying to find some form on the bike, only to feel rather fat, unfit and decidedly slow. Added to this, all the buzz on The Hub SA was about tyre choice, training programs, riding conditions, race strategy and a bit of smack talk. I was beginning to wonder how much I really wanted that event shirt (which they give to you BEFORE the event, at registration).

Etienne, with me lurking on the right
Photo thanks to Debby Champion

As is always the case, a keen eye was kept on the weather forecast - perfect cycling conditions require an exceptionally rare combination of factors. It must be warm, but not too warm. It must be dry, but not dusty. It must not be windy, but it also must not be windless. Tail winds are preferred, except when climbing steep hills in the heat - then a gentle, cooling headwind is desired. The drive to Oudtshoorn was done in the pouring rain, which did not bode well for the event. Thankfully, as we headed further into the Karoo the weather started to clear and race day promised to be one of those rare days of perfect bike riding weather.

Since we were staying in the quaint hamlet of Herold at a place called Over the Mountain I had to get up rather early on race day. I was rather tempted to roll over and rather enjoy a couple hours of extra sleep than to start the process that would end in upwards of 6 hours of suffering. My masochistic streak won in the end and at 6h40 the Sub Vets set off on our 121km journey towards the coast.

Route thanks to nathrix™ ® from TheHubSA

Attakwas is a race of two halves - the first half is a rough, brutal, off-road, technical, hilly affair, while the second half is a rough, brutal, dirt-road, non-technical, hilly affair, with water point 3 being the transition between the two halves. The plan was a simple one - survive the first half with my limited technical skills, and then take advantage of Nelly the Niner's love for dirt roads on the second half.

The race turned out to be a rather lonely one, and I often found myself in the middle of nowhere with no one around and only my thoughts for company. Occasionally I would catch and pass someone I recognised (and occasionally I would catch and pass someone who I knew and didn't recognise). The former included Etienne, a 100Miler teammate,  Tree John, my Swazi partner, Baviaans Backup Freddie, and crazy Anton Bosman from the 2009 Bicycling Omni-Motion 24hr event on a single speed rigid fork bike (it took me over three hours to close the 10 minute gap he had on me, making full use of my 27 gears and 3 inches of front suspension).

The latter included Rob Dormehl, one half of Osama B's from the Swazi Frontier. We rode together for around an hour, along with Hanlie Booyens, sharing the pace setting (although in the photos I am on the front), and it was only when looking at the photos afterwards did I realise who my fellow pace setter was.

Rob Dormel, Hanlie Booyens (hiding behind Rob) and me
From Photo Dynamix's album on Facebook

I had heard that the silver medal cut-off was 6hr30, so when we got to within 40kms of the finish with 2 hours to go I was confident my little threesome would easily make it. At 20kms to go and just over an hour I was pretty sure the silver was in the bag. And then the wheels fell off up a particularly steep hill, with the sun scorching down, and the air thick and humid, with stench of something dead. I remember that smell from last year too, and had to wonder if perhaps this was a hill that often killed cyclists, as it was busy killing me. At least I had the water points to look forward to, with the Attakwas water points easily winning the prizes for the best stocked, most enthusiastically manned water points in any race that I have done. Burgers, donuts, fruit, gels, juice, coke, ice cold damp towels, chain lube and big smiles.

One of the 6 buildings in Herold

I limped on trying to find some legs when a fellow Somerset-Westian, a knight in shining armour by the name of Deon, offered me his slip stream and towed me for several kilometers towards the final downhill, and the awaiting finish line. I crossed the line in 6h20, a little tired and weary, but chuffed with my ride, only to be told that the silver cut off was 6hr15 (only 13 non-UCI riders qualified, or just 2% of the field). It didn't really matter - I was still quite chuffed with my 18th place (of non-UCI riders), and only to glad that the pain and suffering from a rather long and torturous day out in the saddle was over.

Our guest house - Over the Mountain

My decision about the 2012 edition of this race still needs to be made - perhaps a few memories need to fade before I'll commit to another Attakwas.

Omni-Motion 24hr 2010

After the disaster that was 2009, I wanted one more go at this event. I was quite prepared for the challenges this time around, and had made plans accordingly. We flew up early, we got lots of sleep, the bike was actually ridden before the first lap, and we arrived at the venue early missing the worst of the Gauteng Saturday morning traffic jams.

The quiet before the storm

The highlight of this year's Omni-Motion 24hr event was that David "Tinker" Juarez was going to be riding. I had heard the name, but still didn't really know too much about him. After a bit of googling I realised that he could ride a bike, and that this was going to be a very interesting 24hr race. It's not everyday that you get to race a former 24hr Solo World Champion.

With the previous weekend's Double Century still in my legs, the plan was a simple one - ride my own race at my own pace, and don't get sucked into any racing early on. Hopefully there would be someone else who would be keen to race Tinker, and I could be left alone to do my own thing.

My leisurely Le Mans stroll (that's right, there is a lady dressed as a bee ahead of me!)

At registration I received my number, and a knee guard. I had heard that there were going to be goodie-bags, but this has to be the oddest goodie-item ever. Not even a sign of an expired energy bar, a 4 month old copy of Bicycling Magazine, pamphlets for races that don't interest me, or a sample of bum cream. Next, I needed to get a camp site, and was given a camp spot on the other side of the country. There was only one camp site further away from everything than ours! Hopefully one day I'll be given some inside info on how to go about organising one of those camp sites right near the action on the Start/Finish line.

A late afternoon snack

The start was quickly approaching, and at 12'o clock we got underway with a customary Le Mans start - with some rather eager cyclists sprinting for their bikes. I prefer the more relaxed approach of taking a leisurely stroll to my bike, letting the fuss around me die down, and then get on with riding - there is plenty of time to pass riders later on.

The route

Wendell (of the Cycle Hub at Rietvlei) had put together a good course - an 11.5km loop that was not too technical, but quite tight with lots of twists and turns in the first half, and a fast, flowing section in the second half. Lose concentration for a second, and you were going to come short. The course had a bit of everything for everyone, from a former World Champ, right down to the rest of us weekend warriors. 

I did have some fans (and some future 24hr riders) supporting me

As they say, ignorance is bliss, and the second part of my plan was to be kept in the dark about the progress of the competition. For the first six hours I didn't want to and didn't need to know who was leading, who was doing quick lap times, and where I was overall. It was all about getting into a rhythm, getting comfortable, learning the course, and managing my body. With temperatures up to 39C, fluid intake was going to be important, and I was going through a bottle and a half a lap. Luc the Belgian had brought some Frangipanes with him on his last visit, and told me that Tom Boonen swears by them for long races. I ate several during the event, and now Luc can tell Tom that I swear by them too!

Showing Tinker the way.

After about 4 hours of riding, I got the sensation that I was being followed. To my surprise, Tinker had decided to latch on to my back wheel and follow me around the course. For the next 5 laps or so he remained glued there. I took it as quite an honour that he felt he needed to mark me, and at the same time resisted the urge to get involved in a head to head race with him. It also gave me an opportunity to show Tinker some good lines through the technical stuff, and give him some tips and hints on how to ride a bike. I also suspect that I might have subliminally exposed him to 5339.co.uk for 4 hours, as it was written across my bum, and he'll be buying some bike stuff online shortly.

Still showing Tinker the way.

When the information blackout was finally lifted, I found out I was in second place, a lap down on Tinker, and two up on the guy in third. So far so good. Tinker and I continued our mating ritual of him following me around, and me claiming to have a headache and pretending to ignore him for another three laps, when I decided it was time for dinner. As I stopped, my mechanic whisked away my bike, my nutritionist gave me a plate of macaroni and cheese and some juice, my masseuse started massaging my neck and shoulders, while my manager tried to motivate me and keep me up to date with the race proceedings. Unlike Tinker and his crew, I only had a support crew of one - my wife, and she did a fantastic job of keeping me going.

And again, showing Tinker the way at sunset

With night fall the racing changes and the riders go into maintenance mode. The course gets quieter as people head off to bed. This is the best part about 24hr racing - you, alone on your bike in the darkness, focussed on only the small patch of light in front of you. Nothing else matters. Pure mountain biking heaven. I also got to see a fair amount of wild life - a hedgehog (which at first I thought was a rock until it moved), a rabbit, and a mongoose. These were all real, unlike the giant yellow chicken that I have seen in previous races. I did however see a guy in a blue top several times lurking in the trees. He is either a figment of my imagination, or a master of deception, because he would vanish in the blink of an eye. Also, under the cover of darkness, rocks seem to gain magnetic powers and trees start to move around and suddenly you find yourself riding into obstacles that weren't there in the daylight.

Sunrise

Toasted sandwich for breakfast

By midnight I had done 17 laps, and was 2 down on Tinker. There was very little chance that I could make up that time, so I settled on a target of 30 laps for the event, which would be around 350kms of riding. I could now take a bit of a rest between laps, ride as fast or as slow as I wanted, and just enjoy the event. I did however encounter a bit of a problem - Bennie's Bend was messing with my head, and in two consecutive laps I had ended up riding into the same tree in the same manner and have the grazes and bruises on my shoulder to prove it. This was a tree I had ridden past 24 times without incident, and now suddenly I was like a deer in the headlights, inexplicably drawn to it lap after lap. Nothing like a bit of a challenge when you are tired.

Finishing the last lap.

At 10h10 I set off on my 30th and final lap, with various parts of my body now no longer keen to endure the tortures being dished out. I finished shortly after Tinker who had completed 34 laps, but he looked absolutely knackered and as it turned out was unable to attend prize giving. I had hoped to shake his hand on the podium and thank him for a good race, but he was nowhere to be seen. All in all, that was a little bit of a let down.

Done.

Tinker did however agree to a reverse match this coming weekend. Since I had gone head to head with him at his job, he was going to go head to head with me in mine. I hope he has brushed up on his computer and electromagnetic skills! Winner takes all!

24hrs of dirt and grime.

A message for Tinker.

With the demons of 2009 laid to rest and my confidence restored, we got ready for the long trip back to Cape Town. Somehow, a 24hr up in Gauteng is never just 24hrs long - it's more like a 72hr endurance event.

Results

Prepping Nelly for the trip back to Cape Town

Double Century 2010

Once again, the ragtag collection of riders that form the basis of Team 5339.co.uk got together for the first time the night before the Coronation Double Century in an African themed guest house in Swellendam. There were computer nerds, cycle industry executives, UIF receivers, surf apparel consultants, and a soon to be pro triathlete. We had Poms, Saffers, a Swiss, and a guy from Nam. There were some tall cyclists, some tanned cyclists, some short cyclists, some pale cyclists, and pair of ginger cyclists. Anyway you look at it - we made for quite a random collection of people. But we all had one common goal - to finally go under 6 hours for the 202km.

Team 5339.co.uk
Marius, Russell, Dan, Sarel, Zayin, Pascal, Craig, Karel, Dane, Jarryd, Gavin, Hector

There was a very different vibe in the air on the evening before the race, compared to previous years. While everyone seemed nervous and a little introspective, there was a quiet confidence that we had finally assembled a team that would be good enough. The person most nervous was our backup driver - James. Twelve cyclists proceeded to give him often contradictory advice, and then let him know in no uncertain terms that the fate of the whole team rested in his hands. Possibly a little overwhelming for a guy who had never done backup before, let alone the DC. Rumour has it that he never slept that night, and spent the entire evening going over the race rules again and again, pacing up and down, while mumbling words like "pressure", "responsibility" and several other words not suitable for this blog.

Awaiting the start

After eating a surprising amount of pasta for dinner, and hashing out the plan for the next day several times, the riders slowly headed off to bed. Except Marius. He had been in bed since before the sun had even set (being newly wed, we forgave him just this once). I am not sure about the rest of the team, but I didn't sleep very well. I think I must have cycled the entire route at least three times in my mind, going over the smallest detail, running through checklists, and hoping that this wasn't going to be a repeat of the 2009 disaster. I, along with the rest of Team 5339.co.uk were put out of our sleep deprived misery when we were rudely awoken at around 4am by a stray herd of wildebeest that ran through the guest house several times, occasionally stopping to use the toilet.

One straight stripe

With everyone up and ready, and Hector being closely monitored by three assigned chaperones, we went over the plans one last time. The backup car was packed, the bikes were lubed and tyres were pumped. We were ready once again to tackle the DC. Our 7am start meant we had missed the worst of the weather, unlike the poor teams that had started at 5am. The light overnight rain had cleared, the wind had dropped and the clouds were lifting. A perfect day for bike racing. I was a little disappointed that our team captain didn't get us into a huddle and give us one last team talk, and when I saw the team behind us doing this I thought we might be doing something wrong. Although, with our fancy looking 5339 cycle kit, we didn't need a team huddle - we already looked like we knew what we were doing! As the start gun for Team 5339.co.uk went off, all thoughts left our heads, and we got on with the task of riding 202km as fast as we could.

Synchronised feeding under the watchful eye of the captain

There isn't much to report about from the actual race. I was either behind someone, focussed on his wheel and bum, or taking my 2 minute turn on the front. As we started catching people, the view from the front became quite unpleasant (much like the view of a certain Swiss bum in see through shorts) - there were riders spread out all over the road, backup vehicles squeezing into gaps that didn't exist, busses overtaking on blind rises. Often, we were left with little choice but to attempt to pass in the right hand lane. How no one got hurt, let alone killed, is amazing.

By the top of Op de Tradouw we were down to 11 riders, but still flying along under the steady, and often excruciatingly painful, pace set by Sarel the See Fiets Monster (for the youngsters on our team reading this, ask your parents about the Sarel the Seemonster reference) and Dan the Triathlete. Montague, Ashton, Robertson, Bonnivale all passed by in a blur of sweat and energy juice as we slowly started to lose riders. With 40kms to go, we were down to 9 riders, but more importantly, still had 1h30 to play with.

A friendly Dan the Triathlete, warmed up after 160km and ready to lead the way.

Then came The Incident that we'll debate for years come. Five of us were on the front of a rather big bunch of riders consisting of at least 2 other teams. We were setting a good pace, but somehow lost sight of the rest of the team, and proceeded to ride them off the back of the bunch. By the time we realised we were just 5 riders, it was too late - the damage had been done. We lost several minutes as two riders went back looking for a suitable number 6. Everything was eventually sorted out and we got going again - no one could drop off now as it was down to the 6 of us to get the sub 6 hour we had been aiming for.

Sarel on the front, dashing for home.

With great team work, determination, gritted teeth and aching legs we made our way over the last couple of hills which felt like mountains by now - all the while receiving encouragement from the backup vehicle. James had clearly found a manual or something on the internet the night before, and was putting his new found backup knowledge to great use. I almost felt like a pro. White line fever took over and with speeds well over 60km/h on the flats we steamed towards Swellendam, cresting the last climb and crossing the finish line in an unbelievable time of 5h47:10 and an average speed of 34.91km/h. It was surreal. In an instant, all the pain and suffering vanished and it had been worth it.

A rather chuffed looking Team 5339.co.uk

The customary post DC Team 5339.co.uk braai took place in the rain, again, and it wasn't long before we all drifted off to bed with full stomachs and big smiles. We awoke early the next morning to the news that we had finished 6th overall - not bad for a bunch of mountain bikers, triathletes and bit-part roadies.

After a breakfast of scrambled ostrich egg, bacon, mushrooms and toast we packed up and headed back to reality - already scheming about DC 2011 and how we could go even faster!

Watch the video 59 times for the full 5h47 DC experience

Wines2Whales 2010

For the first time since my second Argus way back in 1998, Yolanda and I were going to ride together, and this time it wasn't just going to be a little trip around the Cape Peninsula. It was going to be a 3 day stage race from Lourensford in Somerset West to Onrus. That's 230km of bonding. Craig and Bonte (Team Finding Vino) would be doing it as well, and the event promised to be a great weekend away. Wines2Whales, here we come.

A bunch start!

That was until we got word of some competition. Our spies had been busy monitoring the Western Cape cycling scene, and something big appeared on the wires. Another couple with high ambitions had entered, and neither Yolanda nor Bonte would tolerate losing to this couple. And so the intelligence work began. Many favours were called in, information was gathered, Facebook accounts were monitored, results were scrutinised, acquaintances were interrogated, and plans were formulated. We knew when and where the opposition would be riding, how far their training rides were, their mental state, their strengths and their weaknesses. All this was done in absolute secrecy - something any intelligence operative would have been proud of. After several refinements and iterations we had a plan to beat the Wakefields, aka Team Heading For A Divorce.

All smiles

With our Plan safely locked away behind triple reinforced stainless steel doors, and two killer guard dogs employed on 12 hour shifts, we set about getting fit for the challenge that lay ahead. For Yolanda, this generally included looking out of the window, seeing a threatening cloud in the distance, and going back to bed. With only a couple of weeks to go she upped the training, both quality and quantity, and actually got on a bicycle. This was all part of The Plan, in case the Wakefields had infiltrated our cycling group and had spies reporting on her progress. While Yolanda was busy training, I was frantically trying to discover the race commissar's weakness. While I am not at liberty to discuss these details, the results speak for themselves, as both Finding Vino and The Bizweni Benders managed to get an A seeding.

A hearty meal for a stage racer

Race day eventually arrived, along with some rather foul weather, but mountain bikers are a tough lot and welcomed the thick sticky mud and slippery conditions with open arms. After a hearty breakfast of chocolate Pronutro at the Bokomo Breakfast Zone, we headed off to the A bunch, hanging with the likes of Christoph Sauser, Burry Stander, Conrad Stoltz and Dan Hugo.

Stage One

Stage One was going to be a bit of a brute with lots of steep climbs, some technical descents, and some tight singletrack as we made our way from Lourensford to Grabouw Country Club, for a total of 70kms and just under 1500m of climbing. Yolanda rode like a star - fearless in the face of some rather slippery conditions and attempted everything. A couple earth shattering tumbles later (and some rather sore looking bruises) we rolled across the finish line narrowly beating Team Finding Vino in a time of 6h22. Our bodies had survived, and more importantly so had our marriage (even if there were parts where we weren't speaking to each other - because apparently it's my fault when Yolanda falls on a slippery root or rock). I had earned massive brownie points by carrying my bike up the wagon trail, and at the same time pushing Yo's bike - this single act possibly saved our marriage.The many months of hard training had paid off, as Team Heading For A Divorce finished in a whopping 7h11. Barring any major mechanical difficulties, the overall victory would be ours.

Chatting to the enemy (mind games at work!)

What a view (except for the half naked cyclist)

With the riding out of the way, Yolanda quickly settled into the chore routine - showering, snacking, getting a massage, mixing juice etc. She especially enjoyed setting up "The Nest" - the tent we would be sleeping in. We would use the other tent to store all our stuff.

Stage Two

Ready for Stage Two

Stage Two had us hooking up all the best singletrack mountain biking in the Western Cape - OakValley, Thandi and Lebanon, into a 75km loop. I was a little nervous because I wasn't sure I would be able to stay on Yolanda's wheel. It turns out that she is quite a downhill maniac, especially when it comes to technical singletrack. Not a single person caught or passed us when she was in full flight, and I had to work hard to keep up with her. We had a couple of issues - an inconveniently placed root resulted in Yolanda having a rather heavy crash (which again was my fault). That was shortly followed by the longest puncture repair ever as I tried to fit a tube. Team Finding Vino passed us after we had been stationary for about 20 minutes, and Team HFAD somehow also sneaked past us. I suspect they did so on their bellies, leopard crawling through the long grass to maintain the element of surprise. It was only much later when we caught them that we realised we'd been passed by them. 

Close to being finished

In the spirit of W2W, we had come up with a rule that said there was to be no pushing of the ladies by the guys. We were going to ride at their pace. However, there was a escape clause, affectionately known as the Nadine Clause - if Team HFAD happened to be challenging for position on a stage, then pushing would be allowed. And that was exactly the situation Yolanda and I found ourselves in. We had started 10 minutes before Team HFAD, and when we recaught them we still had to get a 10 minute gap on them to stand any chance of beating them on the stage. It was like old times again - instead of Russel, I now had Yolanda to push, and we made good progress in the final 18kms, but unfortunately only managed to make up 5 of the required 10 minutes and finished in 5h52. Well done Team HFAD. Team Finding Vino also had a last minute puncture and lost out on the stage victory by a mere 40 seconds. A cynic would suggest that the circumstances of Team HFAD's victory were a little suspicious - both the opposition teams suffering punctures. A complaint was lodged and the race commissar is still investigating.

Up bright and early, ready for Stage Three

Stage Three

Stage Three was the final push towards Onrus, an 85km route with some great downhill, and a bit of a sting in the tail. With Team Finding Vino leading on GC, our two teams stuck together to provide a mental deterrent to Team HFAD. We were a little shocked to see them at the first water point - once again they had ridden 10 minutes into us, and once again we had to invoke the Nadine Clause. That was the last we saw of them as the ladies rode like champs up the many climbs, spurred on by the desire to claim the bragging rights. I was also made to look like an amateur again by Yolanda on some fast singletrack as she raced away from me (Coach - if you're reading this - we need to work on my skills!). With Onrus in sight, Teams Finding Vino and The Bizweni Benders flew past some dedicated supporters , all smiles. It had been a perfect day's riding. Or so we thought. With a couple hundred meters to go, Bonte had an altercation with an unforgiving Milkwood tree, the Milkwood winning and Bonte adding to her collection of scrapes and bruises. We crossed the line in 5h44, and then had the agonising wait for Team HFAD. Ten minutes eventually passed, giving us another stage win, and Team Finding Vino the overall victory.

Finished!

Team Heading for a Divorce - still together and smiling.

All in all, a very enjoyable event - well organised with a great route and fantastic vibe. This race is everything that the Epic is not, and I hope it stays this way. Plans are already underway on how to beat Team HFAD next year - our operatives are hard at work. Owning the Wakefields again will be a challenge, but we're more determined than ever.

The Bizweni Benders and Team Finding Vino - in matching 5339 kit